maeyako
September 7th, 2009, 08:44 PM
So I've just read Obama's speech to our nation's grade school children (unlikely to the college students... very unlikely) and I just thought I'd make a few choice corrections to his speech that would be more... true and factual and the like.
(link to speech is here) (http://i2.cdn.turner.com/cnn/2009/images/09/07/obama.school.speech.pdf)
Hello everyone – how’s everybody doing today? I’m here with students at Wakefield
High School in Arlington, Virginia. And we’ve got students tuning in from all across
America, kindergarten through twelfth grade. I’m glad you all could join us today.
This is what he should say:
Hello everyone – how’s everybody doing today? I’m here with students at Wakefield
High School in Arlington, Virginia. And we’ve got students tuning in from all across
America, kindergarten through twelfth grade. I’m glad you all had to join us today.
Me = 1, Obama =0
I imagine there are some seniors out there who
are feeling pretty good right now, with just one more year of forced schooling to go until you become a free person no longer being controlled by your parents and the government.
OH BURN if I must say.
And no matter what
grade you’re in, some of you are probably wishing it were still summer, and you could’ve
stayed in bed just a little longer this morning.
And no matter what
grade you’re in, some of you are probably wishing it were still summer and you were somewhat freer, and you could’ve
stayed in bed just a little longer this morning or not come at all to the virtual prison you've been condemned to go to.
Again, truth truth.
I’ve talked about your parents’ responsibility for making sure you stay on track, and get
your homework done, and don’t spend every waking hour in front of the TV or with that
Xbox.
SPOILERS: not all "minors" play video games all day. Ignorant bastard.
I’ve talked about your parents’ responsibility for making sure you stay on track, and get
your unnecessary and pointless homework done, and don’t spend every waking hour in front of the TV or with that
Xbox.
Maybe you could be a good writer – maybe even good enough to write a book or articles
in a newspaper – but you might not know it until you write a paper for your English
class. Maybe you could be an innovator or an inventor – maybe even good enough to
come up with the next iPhone or a new medicine or vaccine – but you might not know it
until you do a project for your science class. Maybe you could be a mayor or a Senator or
a Supreme Court Justice, but you might not know that until you join student government
or the debate team.
Maybe you are a good writer – maybe even good enough to write a book or articles
in a newspaper – but you might not know it until you try to get your works published. Maybe you are an innovator or an inventor – maybe you came up with something great but don't know how to market it yet. Maybe you would be a mayor or a Senator or
a Supreme Court Justice, but you cant until you reach 25 or 30.
And no matter what you want to do with your life – I guarantee that you’ll need an
education to do it.
And no matter what you want to do with your life – I guarantee that you’ll need to be 18+ to do it.
HUZZAH!
You’re going to need a
good education for every single one of those careers.
You’re going to need to take out loans for thousands upon thousands of dollars with no hope of ever actually being hired or getting caught with some drug or drug paraphernalia and if you're poor poof goes any chance at paying for college!
And that's really all I'm going to do.
You get the point.
And yes, I voted for Obama.
(link to speech is here) (http://i2.cdn.turner.com/cnn/2009/images/09/07/obama.school.speech.pdf)
Hello everyone – how’s everybody doing today? I’m here with students at Wakefield
High School in Arlington, Virginia. And we’ve got students tuning in from all across
America, kindergarten through twelfth grade. I’m glad you all could join us today.
This is what he should say:
Hello everyone – how’s everybody doing today? I’m here with students at Wakefield
High School in Arlington, Virginia. And we’ve got students tuning in from all across
America, kindergarten through twelfth grade. I’m glad you all had to join us today.
Me = 1, Obama =0
I imagine there are some seniors out there who
are feeling pretty good right now, with just one more year of forced schooling to go until you become a free person no longer being controlled by your parents and the government.
OH BURN if I must say.
And no matter what
grade you’re in, some of you are probably wishing it were still summer, and you could’ve
stayed in bed just a little longer this morning.
And no matter what
grade you’re in, some of you are probably wishing it were still summer and you were somewhat freer, and you could’ve
stayed in bed just a little longer this morning or not come at all to the virtual prison you've been condemned to go to.
Again, truth truth.
I’ve talked about your parents’ responsibility for making sure you stay on track, and get
your homework done, and don’t spend every waking hour in front of the TV or with that
Xbox.
SPOILERS: not all "minors" play video games all day. Ignorant bastard.
I’ve talked about your parents’ responsibility for making sure you stay on track, and get
your unnecessary and pointless homework done, and don’t spend every waking hour in front of the TV or with that
Xbox.
Maybe you could be a good writer – maybe even good enough to write a book or articles
in a newspaper – but you might not know it until you write a paper for your English
class. Maybe you could be an innovator or an inventor – maybe even good enough to
come up with the next iPhone or a new medicine or vaccine – but you might not know it
until you do a project for your science class. Maybe you could be a mayor or a Senator or
a Supreme Court Justice, but you might not know that until you join student government
or the debate team.
Maybe you are a good writer – maybe even good enough to write a book or articles
in a newspaper – but you might not know it until you try to get your works published. Maybe you are an innovator or an inventor – maybe you came up with something great but don't know how to market it yet. Maybe you would be a mayor or a Senator or
a Supreme Court Justice, but you cant until you reach 25 or 30.
And no matter what you want to do with your life – I guarantee that you’ll need an
education to do it.
And no matter what you want to do with your life – I guarantee that you’ll need to be 18+ to do it.
HUZZAH!
You’re going to need a
good education for every single one of those careers.
You’re going to need to take out loans for thousands upon thousands of dollars with no hope of ever actually being hired or getting caught with some drug or drug paraphernalia and if you're poor poof goes any chance at paying for college!
And that's really all I'm going to do.
You get the point.
And yes, I voted for Obama.